Ralph to the Rescue
by ScorplinginTraining
Summary: Walter may be a genius and Paige's mothering skills may be superlative, but it doesn't mean they are smart about everything. After the Tahoe Travesty, Ralph decides to take matters into his own hands. Someone has to make those two see sense and it may as well be him.
1. Chapter 1

Ralph eyed his mother with a stubborn frown. "I don't want Tim to go on the family campout with us. Forestry Braves is something _Walter_ and I always do together. Besides, I've already asked him and he said he'd go. I can't un-invite him now."

Paige tried to quell her impatience. It had been a couple of weeks since the disastrous weekend in Tahoe with Tim with the excruciatingly awkward interruption by Walter. When she left the garage that night after he told her their feelings needed to be buried, she made up her mind to give Tim a fair shot and she was determined to put those forbidden feelings for her boss behind her for good. She just couldn't take another second of the constant back and forth, thinking one minute they were getting somewhere only to have him dismiss her and withdraw again. She deserved a man who was sure he wanted to be with her. Didn't she? Things had been strained between her and Walter ever since. Now she also had to contend with Ralph's resentment.

"I just want you to give Tim a chance, sweetie. He can be a lot of fun too. I've already asked him. I didn't realize you'd invited Walter."

"Give him a chance to do what? He's dating you, not me. Plus, you didn't give Walter much of a chance," her son mumbled, looking belligerent.

"Ralph, you need to watch how you speak to me, please. I'm not going to discuss who I date or debate the reasons for my choices with you. While you are very smart, you're still only eleven and you don't know everything, okay? Tim wants to get to know you better. I know Walter is your favorite friend, but you can branch out and have other friends too. Like Happy and Toby and Sly and Cabe. You love hanging out with them. You might find you like hanging out with Tim if you'd give it a try."

"Sorry," he sighed, sounding remarkably unrepentant, "But, Walter and I have almost completed the requirements for my astronomy merit badge. If we bring my telescope this weekend, we will be able to finish them up. Otherwise, it will have to wait for the next overnight outing. That would be inefficient. I guess maybe both of them could come if you want," he conceded grudgingly.

'Heaven forbid we lack efficiency', Paige thought sarcastically, but she fell silent as she turned the car into the parking area behind the garage. Being mature about this situation wasn't easy on a good day and she didn't even want to think about how she would approach Walter about this new development with Ralph's campout. It was going to be a very weird and uncomfortable conversation at best. These days they only spoke about business matters and avoided each other as much as they could otherwise. It hurt more than she wanted to admit. She missed him…a lot.

But she was trying to be fair to Tim, and stick by her decision to move forward with him. Their weekend in Tahoe was interrupted first by Walter then by a case. Since they got back, she hadn't allowed him to stay at her place and she wouldn't stay with him because of Ralph. He was exceptionally patient about all of it. She hated to tell him the campout wasn't going to happen after they already made plans.

Without another word or even a backward glance, Ralph unbuckled his seatbelt, barely took the time to shut his door, and rushed toward the garage leaving Paige to rest her forehead on the steering wheel. She was beginning to think men were too much trouble. Maybe dating just wasn't in the cards for her.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

Ralph burst through the door like a rocket. He just needed a few minutes alone to reformulate his plan. When he heard about the Annual Forestry Braves Family Campout, he knew he could talk his mom into participating. So he'd also invited Walter thinking he could encourage them to interact like they used to and they would finally make the reasonable assumption the three of them belonged together as a family unit. And his mom would put an end to this Tim nonsense once and for all.

He may only be eleven, and he may not know _everything_ , but sometimes adults were more than clueless too. For instance, he knew that being in a relationship was supposed to make you happy and content. But his mom was tense and restless. And Walter was wretched. The only one who appeared to be happier was that colossal anthropoid primate, Tim. But who could tell with him, the man always seemed to be happy and positive. It was slightly loathsome. In this case, the grown-ups needed a push in the right direction and who else was going to give them the nudge they required.

Noting Walter wasn't at his desk, Ralph dashed up the stairs to the loft. It was easier to approach him first. The two of them thought alike, so he knew logic was the best way to manage his mentor. Or if that didn't work, he knew the older genius hated the thought of disappointing him, so he would pull the old 'sad puppy eyes' trick out of his cache. That tactic had a one hundred percent success rate with Walter.

OOOOOOOOOO

He was a genius with the fourth, no fifth, highest IQ. He was the leader of a successful company. He had good friends who cared about him. Together they had saved many lives over the last two years. He had much to bring him contentment. He'd even made great strides in recognizing his own emotionality. Which was currently his biggest problem as well. When he had so much to be grateful for, it was illogical to feel disconsolate so often.

He had no appetite. He was unable to get adequate rest. When he tried to concentrate on his projects and experiments, his focus would drift toward the painful encounter with Paige in Tahoe and her subsequent rejection of him. And if that wasn't bad enough, he was plagued with thoughts of her with that nauseatingly perfect interloper.

In the face of these facts, Walter couldn't help but draw this scientific conclusion: Love sucks.

 **AN: Okay, don't hurt me. Someone has to deal with this possible outcome. Unfortunately from everything I've read, I think the writers are going this direction and Tim is going to be around for at least a little while longer. *sigh* Show of hands - Who finds Tim annoyingly perfect? They do a great job showing the flaws in every other character including Cabe, Paige, Megan, etc. But I'll bet Tim even voluteers at the animal shelter once a week and calls his grandma every Sunday. Someone had Happy call him a Ken doll in her story. I don't remember which author it was, but it seriously cracked me up! So apt! Kudos! I just wanna muss up his perfect rep with my story. Nothing too bad, just a little hissy fit or bad morning breath or _something_. Maybe he has a tiny...? Oooo, Tiny Tim? Bwahahaha!**


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER 2**

Being a resourceful and resilient plotter, Ralph quickly reformulated the scheme he'd designated 'Operation Wreck-It Ralph'. The name signified his purpose to wreak havoc on his mother's mockery of a relationship with Trespassing Tim. He decided a forced comparison between the two men in her life might be just what was needed. It was certain to showcase Walter's superiority as a spousal companion and paternal figure for their specific family. So, he concluded having both men in the closed environment of the campout might actually be advantageous to his plan. But before success could be assured, he first had to set some things in motion and he had less than a week to get everything in place.

Walter's laptop contained a plethora of useful programming if one knew how and where to look. And Ralph certainly did. He needed some of it to pull off the W-IR Op. Because of time constraints, this particular segment of the plan forced him to be more devious than he liked, but desperate times sometimes called for duplicitous measures.

The Wednesday before the campout was the only day he knew Cabe and Tim would be tied up in meetings at Homeland for the afternoon. So, he used that opportunity and Toby's modified voice dubbing software to send the other various and more observant adults in his sphere in different directions. He could then copy the more utile applications from Walter's laptop to his own computer while they were out of the way.

Ralph had been collecting voices for Toby's upgraded software for a while, knowing they might be useful at some point. He'd also obtained a TracFone from the lost and found at Cal Tech to make the required calls, so nothing could be traced back to him. He would have no trouble hacking his own phone to change the Caller ID, but he wouldn't put it past the team to look up the actual source number once they realized they'd been hoodwinked. He didn't want to blow the whole operation by being grounded and restricted from the campout.

He'd recorded his language arts teacher from elementary school while she was reading to the class and used her voice to send his mother to Cal Tech to fill out an unnecessary form. He knew that would keep her occupied going between departments looking for the person who requested the form. Colleges were notoriously inefficient when it came to red tape and knowing which department required what documentation. His mom's hoax he called 'The Red Erring".

For Sylvester, he used Heywood Morris's voice from his commercials to lure the human calculator to the lawyer's office near the downtown jail to 'run some numbers' for a case. Sly's ruse was dubbed 'The Wild Calaboose Chase'. Ralph knew Sly would be tied up on different buses for a least an hour getting there and back.

It was a little more challenging to get Walter out of the garage without his laptop. The ploy couldn't be software related, and it couldn't be something mechanical because the Scorpion leader would just send Happy to handle it. So he enlisted Ferret Bueller's help. Knowing Walter would never recognize the voice of any sports commentator, Ralph pulled a voice from popular YouTube sports clips. On that call, he pretended to be the vet's office with some concerns about the ferret asking the owner to bring his pet in for some tests. Walter was inordinately attached to that miniature weasel and he would go to any lengths to attend to all health needs. Ralph called this subterfuge 'The Ferret Fake Out'.

All of the deception left Ralph in the garage alone with Happy and Toby. Although the pair was usually very perceptive, they were currently so absorbed in ignoring each other they were unaware of anyone else. If his plans for his mother and Walter succeeded, he'd already decided he would apply his efforts to that couple next.

It took the boy genius only minutes to get into Walter's computer and begin the data transfer. It would take him longer to hide his tracks and scrub his presence from the hard drive, but he felt sure he had plenty of time.

While he was looking for the relevant applications, Ralph came across a file labeled 'Grand Unification Theory'. Knowing this was an unsolved physics problem, curiosity got the better of him. He needed something to do while the other information was downloading, so he opened it. He was puzzled to find it had nothing to do with physics at all. It was a collection of pictures and videos of his mom and him. None of it depicted them doing anything important really. Just little things like their first Christmas at Scorpion, the two of them smiling with fake snow in their hair. Or there was one of Ralph grinning widely with his trophy from the science fair. All of it represented the little moments that made up the most important nineteen months of his young life. Suddenly flooded with guilt, like he was spying on something very personal, he closed the file and hurriedly collected the programming he needed without further snooping.

XXXXXXXXXX

Paige was exasperated. No one at this college for brainiacs seemed to have a clue who called her, what form she needed to fill out for Ralph or which department she needed to consult to find out. So far she'd been shuffled between three different offices.

Tired and impatient and with the beginnings of a headache throbbing behind her eyes, she decided to give it up as a lost cause. The school could contact her again and give her better instructions the next time.

Truth be told, all this nonsense with Tim and Walter was heavily tapping her energy reserves. Every day she vacillated between frustration and worry she'd made the wrong choice. But how could she be wrong when Tim was such a great guy? It was exhausting.

The stilted conversation she had with Walter regarding Tim's presence at the campout had gone better than she'd imagined it would at least. Ralph had paved the way and had already spoken to Walter about the change in plans. Her boss assured her he was 'fine' with the new circumstances and let her know he would take his own car so he could leave when his 'presence was no longer required'. Paige had to contain the urge to shake a stronger reaction out of the man. Or grab him by his ears and kiss the hell out of him just to see what he would do.

But those thoughts and urges were disloyal to her current boyfriend. She needed to bury them and leave them alone, didn't she?

When she had the same discussion with Tim, of course he had responded perfectly with just the right amount of sympathy for her predicament and assurance he would be in her corner whatever she decided to do. He was everything that was patient and understanding. Paige wasn't a violent person, but sometimes she inexplicably wanted to punch him.

OOOOOOOOOO

Walter drove away from the veterinary office, Bueller chattering at him angrily from the cage in his passenger seat. Apparently the ferret didn't care for field trips.

The genius didn't care for feeling foolish. Someone played a prank on him. And he was going to figure out who it was. Part of him hoped it was Toby. The shrink had been uncharacteristically quiet and subdued since the whole proposal fiasco. If Toby was back to playing pranks, it meant things were beginning to return to Scorpion's version of normal around the garage. The entire team was still reeling from recent romantic upheavals, but he hoped time would eventually straighten things out.

Unfortunately, his own feelings for Paige did not appear to be abating in the least. For instance, it bothered him more than it should have when he was told by Ralph then Paige that Tim would be coming to the Forestry Braves Family Event. His first reaction was to back out, but he found he couldn't bail on Ralph. He wished he could say it was the boy's logic that convinced him to go, but in reality he hadn't been able to withstand the sad look of disappointment on his young face. In the end, he would have agreed to almost anything to cheer Ralph up.

To make matters worse, after spending that same evening he'd agreed to go attempting to convince himself the campout wouldn't be much worse for him than a prostate exam, if a slightly more prolonged torture, the Happy Homeland Agent pulled him aside the next morning. Tim had slapped a hand to the back of Walter's shoulder and said cheerfully, "So, Boss, I hear we're going to be camping together this weekend. I just want to be mature about things and I want to clear the air and make sure you're going to be okay with me there. I want you to know I'm not trying to compete with you over Ralph's loyalty or affection. It's just that if I'm going to be a part of Paige's life, I'm going to need to get along with her son too. It's best for everyone if Ralph doesn't feel like he needs to choose. If you're there, I'm sure you'll help convince him and make the transition smoother for everyone. I can count on you, right? No hard feelings and all?"

Stepping away from Tim's hand, Walter answered through gritted teeth, his mouth twisted in an unconvincing imitation of a smile, "No hard feelings. No feelings one way or another. Low EQ, remember? However, I won't be paving your way with Ralph. If you are actually the right man for Paige, your relationship with her son will develop naturally without my help. I'm personally not convinced you are what's best for her or Ralph, but I respect her enough to keep that to myself. For now."

Tim raised both hands in mock surrender and said, "Okay. Got it. May the best man win, then?"

The facsimile of a smile slid off of Walter's face leaving a grimace of distaste in its wake. "They aren't high scores on Proton Arnold, you know." He'd sneered under his breath at Tim's retreating back.

 **AN: I have no idea where this story is going. It has a mind of its own. But I'm having fun with it anyway. I hope you are too.**

 **And just to clarify, I don't hate the Tim character. I just think he's too perfect. It makes him a little 2D in a story full of people with obvious problems and flaws. Plus I just want him to stop obstructing Waige. In this story Walter and Ralph both resent him a lot. That doesn't necessarily reflect the views of the author. It's how a typical tweenage boy would view his mother's boyfriend especially if he wants someone else for a dad. And Walter can't stand him for obvious reasons. Paige is just finding his perfection annoying which you would if you were in love with someone else.**


	3. Chapter 3

**CHAPTER 3**

Gear collected, mosquito repellant applied, wearing camouflage if not outwardly then figuratively over their true feelings about the anticipated outing, four people loaded the two fueled up vehicles behind the garage on Friday afternoon. Three of them worked in silence. Of the quiet group, one's mind was occupied with plans and schemes and the timing needed to execute them. The other two quiet ones were thinking they would really rather have a root canal, but they kept that thought to themselves as they avoided eye contact and kept themselves busy packing the cars. The remaining and only talkative one kept reminding everyone how much fun they were all going to have and what a great opportunity for bonding it was going to be…causing the quiet three to wish he would just shut the hell up already. Although one of the three did make a half-hearted attempt to hide her wish behind a falsely bright smile.

Both cars were crammed with so much gear, it only left enough room for the driver and one passenger each. Ralph ensured this would happen by insisting on bringing every piece of equipment he could find either at home or at the garage that was even remotely related to outdoor survival or astronomy or any other merit badge he might be working toward. He cited logical reasons for each item if questions arose.

He was not going to enjoy this part of the 'Wreck-It Ralph' Op, but sacrifices must be made for the greater good after all. So at the last minute, the boy offered to be the sacrificial passenger in Tim's jeep. He knew Tim wouldn't argue. Good manners would prevent it. Besides, the whole reason the bothersome brute was participating was in an attempt to ingratiate himself with Ralph. His mother wouldn't argue for the same reasons. She did look at him oddly when he spoke up though.

For just a moment, Ralph wanted to take it back or blab out an explanation when he saw the brief flash of puzzled hurt on Walter's face. But there was really no help for it. The young genius had to force his two favorite adults into close proximity to reestablish communication between them. It was of paramount importance to the success of this venture. And this was the only way. He sighed and plopped down in the seat of the jeep dropping his heavy backpack at his feet and buckling his seatbelt. Just like Walter, he didn't believe in luck, but he kept his fingers crossed in his pocket just in case. Ready or not, phase two was commencing.

XOOOOOOOOX

"Sorry this is so awkward," Paige finally said, breaking the tense silence in the car. She'd never felt this nervous around Walter in all the time they'd known each other. She had no idea what to say to him for the hour or so they would be closed up in the car together.

Instead of giving her empty assurances, he said, "Your apology is unnecessary. You haven't done anything wrong." Then after a slight pause, he threw her a lifeline when he continued, "I think maybe Ralph is up to something."

Her son was still a relatively safe topic of conversation for the two of them, so Paige felt herself relax slightly. "What makes you say that?"

"I've suspected something was up for a few days. He's been secretive. He normally tells me everything about school or projects he's working on, but he's been uncharacteristically quiet with me for the last few days. And I _know_ he's been working on something. Usually we discuss what we will do on our outings too, but he didn't make plans with me for this trip at all. And then he volunteered to…uh, nevermind."

"Volunteered to what? Ride with Tim?" They smiled at each other. "I agree that was a little unusual. I guess I was hoping he was taking my advice and…well."

"Trying to get to know Tim?" Walter finished for her. His smile vanished and the oppressive silence fell again.

Paige started to grow indignant. Why should _she_ be uncomfortable? If he didn't want her to date Tim, he should have spoken up during one of the _thousands_ of chances she'd given him before Tahoe. She threw him hints, both large and small, for months! What right did he have to be angry with her?

But her impatience disintegrated instantly when Walter softly asked, "So…are you happy with, uh, Tim?"

She was surprised when the threat of tears prickled her eyes and it took her a few seconds to school her features and make them pleasantly neutral again. "Oh. Um, sure," she said, her throat a little tight, "He's, you know…great."

Staring straight ahead at the road, Walter nodded. "Good. That's good. Really good. I j-just want you to be happy. And Ralph too."

"Thank you," she whispered, then needing to change the subject before she started bawling in earnest, she said, "I know it's been strange, but I want you to know I really appreciate you sticking by Ralph. All of this has been more upsetting for him than I thought it would be. To be honest, I figured he'd walk to this campground before he'd ride with Tim."

Walter chuckled. "I can sympathize. I almost put on my noise cancelling earphones just to keep from hearing one more time how pleasant this weekend was going to be."

That comment surprised a burst of giggles out of her. "Oh, no! I thought it was just me. If I could have unearthed that roll of duct tape in one of the tons of boxes of supplies Ralph insisted we needed for our little two night trip, I may have found a good use for it!" Then feeling disloyal, she added, "I think he's just excited and a little nervous. He wants to make a good impression on Ralph and I think he's trying a bit too hard."

Walter flashed her a rueful smile, but kept his thoughts about that to himself.

Adopting a mock pensive look, Paige said, "On second thought, maybe Ralph didn't want to ride with _me_."

"Why would you think that?" He asked looking genuinely curious.

She snickered. "Because I always make him sing on road trips."

Walter's eyebrows lifted and he nodded. "I can certainly understand his position. I was subjected to that treatment once too." A smile was teasing the corners of his mouth at the recollection.

"Hey! It wasn't so bad!"

"And it helped us escape a megalomaniacal dictator if memory serves. So, there was an upside."

"Admit it. You loved it." Her eyes lit up as she belted out 'Don't Go Breaking My Heart' at top volume. It wasn't long before Walter shook his head and started singing the 'boy parts'. By the end they had both dissolved into laughter, and Paige felt lighter than she had in weeks.

OXXXXXXXXO

Well, the verdict was in. To his chagrin, Walter was more in love with Paige than ever. In what felt like no time at all, they were pulling into the campground. The hour had just flown by. If it wasn't for Ralph, he would have been tempted to keep driving just to extend the interlude with her.

They picked up their site number at the entrance, and followed Tim's jeep to the parking area. Paige and Walter exchanged amused grins when they both noticed Ralph was wearing earphones. But his pleasure was short-lived when she soon left his side to walk over and join Tim. He felt a fleeting jab of what he now readily recognized as jealously. It was so acute it nearly took his breath, but he put on a brave face for Ralph.

The sun was already setting when they found their spots, so the top priority was unloading what was needed for that evening and getting their tents pitched while they still had daylight. They were busy locating what was needed when they were approached by the Forestry Braves leader and his two sons.

After exchanging greetings, the leader turned to Tim and asked, "So you're a SEAL? I just noticed your bumper sticker." Sure enough, the jeep sported the motto 'Ready to Lead, Ready to Follow, Never Quit' across the spare tire cover.

A half smile kicked up the corner of Tim's mouth as he answered humbly, of course, "Former SEAL. I was injured in the line."

"I was a sailor in the navy myself. Retired now," the leader explained and the two men began amiably swapping navy stories while the leader's sons looked at Tim with something close to awe.

No one but Paige noticed as Walter and Ralph, in perfect tandem as if using BBI, found the flattest spot on their site, stepped off the area needed for their tent, and cleared a few rocks from the ground where the base would sit. Next they removed an odd silvery fabric from a duffle bag and spread it out across the cleared surface. They quickly staked the tent and it was up in minutes. It looked peculiar in shape and color.

That's when the other two boys saw it and eyed it with suspicious curiosity. One of them wandered over and asked with a smirk, "What the heck is _that_?"

Ralph tried to explain, "It's a tent we designed ourselves along with our friend Happy, who's a genius mechanic. The construction makes it easy to erect and collapse, while still being sturdy enough to withstand wind and rain. The shape sheds water efficiently while allowing for the maximum useful space inside. The fabric is light weight but durable and waterproof and the color insulates while it deflects UV rays." He beamed at Walter proudly then looked expectantly at the other boy.

"It's weird," the kid scoffed, "and so are you." With that, he started back toward his father and brother.

Ralph's face fell. Walter placed a reassuring hand on his young friend's shoulder and shrugged. "It's okay, buddy. Remember, I'm weird too. It just means we think differently than ninety-nine percent of people. And your mom thinks it's great, right?"

The older genius looked up just in time to catch the tender smile on Paige's face.

 **AN: Proud to say I'm one of the weird ones. Weirdos unite! Please read, review and make my day! ;-)**


	4. Chapter 4

**CHAPTER 4**

 **AN: I loved writing this chapter. Hope you enjoy reading it as much. Please leave a comment if you do...**

Paige was going to die. This was it. She was just waiting for a gaping hole to open up in the ground and swallow her. Well, a girl could always hope.

They'd brought their entire house with them and half of the garage too. How? How did she manage to forget her own clothes? She'd put her overnight bag down by the front door. It was probably still sitting there. She had been dreading this weekend so much, she anxiously over-packed again. She'd made it to the car with her smaller bag that contained her toiletries, but she had obviously forgotten to go back and get the heavier bag stuffed with her clothes. Not only was she without pajamas, she didn't even have a clean pair of underwear! Her mind raced trying to figure out what to do. And she didn't have her car with her to go to the nearest store which was at least thirty-five minutes away, let alone go all the way back to LA for her things.

A bubble of hysterical laughter threatened to burst out, as she thought about wearing the same pair of underwear for three days. It might serve as a chastity belt. She hadn't spent a night with Tim since they started dating. Of course they couldn't _do_ anything with their tent side-by-side with her son's, but she had to share a tent with him and lie beside him and try to sleep for two nights. She didn't know how she felt about it. Paige wasn't trying to string Tim along, and she did find him attractive, but the thought of finally getting physical with him…wasn't as exciting as it should be. Maybe she was just nervous. It had been a long time since she'd been intimate with anyone.

Tim was at the big campfire area. The leader had taken him over there to introduce him around to the other campers after the cars were unloaded and the campsite was set up for the night. Paige was preparing to head for the ladies' restroom to get ready for bed and was just thinking sourly that the guy could have asked Walter and Ralph to come and meet everyone too, when she made the discovery about her clothes. Sighing and plopping down on the picnic bench at the campsite, she leaned her elbows on the table and rested her forehead on the heels of her hands. She commanded herself to _think_. What did she need to do?

That's when Walter walked up. "You look perturbed," he said. For a moment Paige had a flashback to the night they'd kissed in the garage after the whole satellite case. Her face flushed as her temperature spiked up a couple of degrees at the memory. Well, at least she knew her libido was still…there. Great. Just great.

Embarrassed and impatient with herself, she implored him, "Swear you won't tell Toby? I can only imagine the conclusions he would draw from this. I'd never hear the end of it!" At his nod, she admitted,"I left my clothes back at my place. I'm trying to figure out what to do so I don't look and smell like I live under a bridge this whole weekend."

To Paige's relief, all Walter did was give her a small smirk before, logical as always, he suggested, "I probably have something that will do for you tonight. Tomorrow you can take my car and go into the closest town and purchase some things to get you through."

"I'll owe you big for this."

Walter's smile grew. "I'll collect on it, I'm sure." Her pulse kicked up again at his unintended innuendo.

That's how Paige found herself going commando in a pair of Walter's navy blue swim trunks and wearing a T-shirt with the slogan "Save the Brainforest" emblazoned across her chest. The shirt hung down to her mid thigh and even with a drawstring, the shorts kept threatening to slide down, the hems of the legs sagging almost to midcalf. Hardly high fashion. Or sexy night wear.

Tim took one look and started laughing good naturedly.

She threw him an disgruntled look and said, "Don't ask." He was a good sport about it. Of course.

Lying wide awake beside Tim, his arm heavy around her middle, she heard Walter and Ralph settle in after setting up her son's telescope and taking some time to star gaze. She could hear the two geniuses talking for a while as they tried to make geometric shapes on the side of their tent using the shadow of their hands and a flashlight beam. They made a circle, a triangle, and a rhombus, but they cracked up laughing when Ralph suggested a tetrahedron. They almost managed it after propping the flashlight and using all four available hands. But the light was attracting insects, so they finally decided to give up and go to sleep.

Paige was still awake when the two in the next tent went to sleep, both of them mumbling things occasionally as if solving equations subconsciously. Tim was quiet and still, breathing softly and inoffensively. He didn't snore or talk or kick or fart. His nose didn't whistle when he exhaled. He even slept perfectly.

XXXOOOOXXX

The previous night, when Paige stood in front of him, her form lost in his clothes with that pout on her face, Walter just wanted to hug her. But he resisted. Barely.

That image had to sustain him through the morning he was having. As Paige drove off in his car after breakfast, all the campers divided up into teams. Their team went on a nature hike first. That's what started the Ralph tug-of-war with both men competing for his attention. They would both point things out like signs of wildlife or which plants were edible or rock formations that the boy frankly already knew. Walter could tell they were trying his patience, so the older genius decided to back off and keep quiet. It didn't help matters that Tim had an entourage of adoring youngsters dogging his heels and drinking in his every word about survival skills. Adults and kids alike asked enthusiastic questions about eating bugs and making temporary shelters. They asked about his boots and what kind of knife he had and what was the longest time he'd had to survive in the wild on his own. Walter and Ralph dropped further and further toward the back of the group quietly watching everyone trample all the signs of nature on the trail.

Then things got worse.

The next activity for their team involved games. They competed at horseshoes. Walter sucked at anything involving tossing. Ralph sucked worse. Tim tried to coach them being very encouraging and tolerant of their lack of skills. Walter wanted to throw the horseshoe and get a ringer on Tim's thick neck. Their team won because of Tim's high score. And the crowd went wild.

Walter and Ralph spent the rest of the game period competing on the giant chess board while the others played an impromptu game of soccer...at Tim's suggestion.

OOOXXXXOOO

This was intolerable. Phase four was not going well at all. First the hike was ruined by everyone's hero. It should have been an enjoyable outing looking for mineral deposits and wildlife, but it turned into worship of all things Tim. Then the over zealous gym teacher had to point out everything he and Walter were doing wrong at horseshoes. He didn't even like horseshoes. What was the fun in throwing objects at a stick?

And his mom wasn't even here to observe the contrasts between the two men or note Walter's clear superiority. Last night he was sure she was going to be impressed with the tent he and Walter constructed, but that kid's 'weird' comment destroyed that plan. And this morning she was absent!

And if that wasn't bad enough, the current situation took the prize. At the moment Ralph was hanging upside down in a repelling harness from the side of a twenty foot rock face. Also Tim's fault!

Tim had badgered him into the rock climbing activity telling him participation was key to getting along with the other kids. When Ralph tried to explain that athletics weren't his strong suit and he didn't care for heights, that go-getter gorilla kept telling him that he just needed to practice. The man was so pugnacious, Ralph finally gave in, but he refused help with his harness in irritation. He was a genius. He could figure out a stupid harness.

Now all his blood supply was in his head making it difficult to think while everyone on the ground was alternately laughing and shouting instructions. Walter, he ascertained, was trying to buckle into his own harness to try to assist. But Tim was already equipped and made it to him first, got him unentangled and got him to the ground.

Humiliated, Ralph shoved away from Tim, unable to even thank him for his help, and ran straight to Walter, burying his hot face in his own hero's shirt. He knew Walter would somehow make this okay.

And he did.

The two of them spent the rest of the afternoon making a zipline using a couple of old telephone poles with guide wires, the cliff face, rope, the hated repelling harness and trigonometry. They had one fantastic ride together before the leader saw what they were doing and scolded them about safety and setting a bad example. But Ralph didn't care. For a while he'd forgotten to scheme and plot and about being embarrassed in front of everyone. And he failed to notice his mom watching everything.


	5. Chapter 5

**CHAPTER 5**

He couldn't sit still. If he stopped his leg from jiggling, his fingers began twitching and tapping against his knees. More than anything, Ralph just wanted to escape, go back to the campsite and stare through his telescope at celestial matter. When he was observing the vastness of the universe, the sheer immenseness sometimes helped him put his own issues in clearer perspective and they didn't seem so challenging.

Like the fact he was sitting on a log beside a bonfire with his strange little family waiting his turn to give a surprise presentation in front of a bunch of people who were laughing at his expense just a few hours before. Being the center of attention or pleasing a crowd was never his forte. That was more in Tim's arena of expertise. Was there anything that Super Cro-Magnon man didn't excel at?

At least he didn't have to sit by the troublesome hominoid this time. Tim was seated on the far end of the log with Paige perched beside him. Next came Walter, then Ralph occupied the other end. After the whole rock climbing calamity, the 'perfect male specimen' had thankfully kept his distance. The only problem was, Ralph knew he owed Tim an apology and his gratitude for the earlier rescue. Logically, he knew the man actually meant well, but feelings of guilt weren't enough to force the words past the resentment. Just like he couldn't force himself to tolerate his mother wearing that missing link's jacket and allowing him to put an arm around her shoulders without it testing his pharyngeal reflex, so actually talking to him at the bonfire was completely out of the question anyway. And Walter's presence next to him wasn't as reassuring as usual because he was staring at the fire in stony silence and was about as responsive as the average cigar store Indian.

One of the other kids was concluding his ghost story. Then it would be Ralph's turn to speak. If the young genius didn't pass out first.

No such luck.

As the spattering of applause died down and the leader turned to Ralph in expectation, he was temporarily struck mute. Fighting the paralysis, he reached behind the log for his backpack that was sitting on the ground. He felt the weight of about thirty pairs of eyes on him. His fingers fumbled and shook while he unzipped his bag and removed three jars and his laptop. He managed to stand up on legs that had all the strength of over-cooked spaghetti and cleared his throat.

When he saw his mom and Walter exchange a wondering look and clutch at each others' hands, he took courage. Plus, she was currently ignoring the massive barbarous cretin on her other side, his apelike arm sliding back down to his side as she leaned forward in anticipation.

Reminding himself firmly of the greater good, Ralph began trying to project intelligible words past the dryness in his mouth, "At the last campout, we were asked to share ghost stories and songs around the fire. At the time I didn't think I had anything to add as I have no talent for singing and I don't believe in ghosts or vampires or werewolves or other mythical creatures. But when I explained my thoughts to my best friend Walter, he assured me I have many things to contribute. They just may not be quite like everyone else's. So when I reflected on what he said, I realized I do believe in one figure that features prominently in a lot of horror stories. I believe in mad scientists. I mean, Einstein's hairstyle alone was rather insane." There were a few quiet laughs at that. "Throughout history, many scientists were viewed as crazy before their theories could be proven, because they challenged long-held beliefs."

He began to sprinkle the contents of the jars into the fire. "For instance, in the seventeenth century, this demonstration would have been seen as witchcraft and they likely would have staked me up in the middle of the fire afterwards." The leaping flames began to glow in dramatic, brilliant greens, blues and purples and showers of sparks twinkled all around the fire pit. Everyone began exclaiming. "But now I can tell you the different colors are the result of the heat energy from the flame exciting the electrons of these elements to a higher quantum level. Copper salts make the bright blue and green colors, and Potassium Chloride is responsible for the purple color. The sparks were simply made by coffee creamer which is edible oil in very fine particles that catch fire easily but burn up quickly. What was seen as magic or madness to our ancestors, science can now explain. Mad scientists can make the impossible possible with time and thought and experiments. Sometimes people we meet seem different or odd, but before you call them crazy, consider they might have some worthwhile ideas."

Ralph paused to pick up his laptop then continued. "If mad science is my story, my song is technology." He tapped a few keys on his computer and all the flashlights and screens on everyone's cell phones lit up at once. And then all the phones began playing 'Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star' in perfect sync. Ralph kept typing, his eyes fixed on his computer. On the last note, the cars in the parking area with onboard WiFi honked twice and flashed their lights.

The boy genius looked up shyly at the faces in the circle of firelight. The group was frozen for a few seconds and he was fearful they might be upset by his demonstration. But then they started clapping and standing and a few of them whistled or cheered. Ralph's eyes grew wide. He hadn't planned for this eventuality and was a little out of his depth. He turned and his eyes sought out his mom and Walter who were standing behind him.

Walter was grinning and nodding as he mouthed, 'Amazing'. His mom's eyes looked a little teary, but she was smiling and clapping for him, so he figured it must be okay. She reminded him, "Say thank-you, Ralph."

So he said his thanks, collected his things and sat back down in his place feeling pleased when he saw his mom briefly press her cheek to Walter's shoulder, her smile still wide.

Perhaps some elements of the W-IR Op were still salvageable.

XXXXOOXXXX

Walter was almost bursting with pride and awe over Ralph's presentation. He had no idea. The boy must have taken the chemical compounds for the fire from the garage and somehow figured out the cybernoose programming they used on previous cases for the cell phones. It certainly explained why he'd been so secretive, and that was a relief too.

It was perhaps a little bittersweet, but he enjoyed knowing Paige still connected with him when it came to Ralph. It felt like family. Maybe he couldn't have her romantically, but it seemed like she might love him in this way at least. And that would have to be enough for the time being.

A little while later, he became aware of a weight on his shoulder and saw Paige was leaning against him half asleep. Walter placed his arm around her back just to keep her from losing her balance and falling backward off the log, of course. He couldn't deny her closeness made him feel like he could breathe again as if the scent of lavender, wood smoke and Paige's shampoo were as essential to him as oxygen. Sleepily, she snuggled into his side.

Tim was standing up and telling a story of his own. For the first time ever, Walter was glad for the other man's popularity and wished the guy would drone on for hours just so he could keep Paige to himself. However, he could tell Ralph was becoming restless and bored. So he wasn't surprised when the boy leaned over and whispered, "I think I'll go back to our site to work on the star maps."

Walter nodded slightly, afraid to make any sudden movements because he didn't want to disturb Paige and make her move away from him. Ralph packed his things back in his bag and sent Walter a little smile and wave before walking quietly back toward their tent. He found it remarkable that even though they didn't share genetics, he felt the same desire as a parent to protect and teach and nurture. And he anticipated with pride all the exceptional accomplishments the boy was sure to make in the future. It somehow made his feelings for Paige run even deeper.

OOOOXXOOOO

The applause woke her up with a start.

And holy crap. There she was all cuddled up practically in Walter's lap! Last night's sleep deprivation crept up on her and apparently drew her to him like a magnet. A warm, comfortable, protective, amazing-smelling magnet. That must be it. Had to be. It couldn't be that she felt more at home with him than anyone else. That was just their shared joy over Ralph's triumph. Right?

Tim was looking at her intently with a frown of disapproval between his eyes, asking her a silent question she wasn't ready to answer. She sat up like she'd been poked with a cattle prod from behind, her head bumping Walter in the chin, her face flaming more than the slowly dying fire. She couldn't look at Walter and just mumbled an apology to him.

Ever the understanding boyfriend, Tim beckoned her to his side bragging to everyone about her singing talent. In that moment, she would rather swallow razor blades than sing in front of anyone, but reluctantly she pasted on a smile and stood up to join him. The smoke and recent nap was going to make it sound like razor blades had, in fact, been on her dinner menu with sandpaper for dessert.

They sang a silly campfire song together and soon everyone around the circle joined in. Tim was a perfect baritone, their voices blended well. But her rebellious mind was remembering the pleasure of singing with someone else instead. Her eyes were drawn to Walter. Maybe he really was a magnet, and an exceptionally gorgeous one in the flickering firelight. He wasn't singing, just staring at her making her feel exposed. And adored. A sudden and very inappropriate wave of desire swamped her and pooled low in her belly. One minute his eyes were boring into hers, the next he abruptly stood and headed in the direction of their campsite.

When the song ended, all the campers began saying their goodnights. Paige extricated herself from Tim as soon as she could, telling him she would see him back at their tent.

Forgetting her flashlight in her haste to return, she picked her way along the rutted dirt path in the dark. Back at the campsite, the first thing she saw was Walter's shadowy figure standing by the picnic table. As she started to walk past, he reached out and grabbed her elbow to stop her progress and pressed a finger to his lips. Then he pointed to the top of the hill a short distance away where Ralph's telescope was set up.

Frowning at first, not knowing what she was supposed to be watching, she almost missed two children approaching her son as he gazed at the stars. Walter and Paige strained to listen, shamelessly eavesdropping.

When the other kids reached Ralph's side, the girl said, "Hello."

Ralph's whole focus was on the universe, so he jumped slightly. He hadn't heard them walk up. "Oh, uh, hello," he replied cautiously.

The girl said, "I'm Isabella. Bella to my friends. And this is my little brother Henry."

"I'm Ralph."

"I really liked your demonstration at the campfire. It was way cool! It might not've been magic but it sure seemed like it."

"Oh, uh, thanks." Ralph's mouth kicked up in a half smile.

Then Bella said, "We saw your telescope today. My brother loves the stars. Can we look at them with you?"

Ralph nodded. "Sure. Henry, you can go first. What would you like to see?"

Bella said, ruefully, "Oh, he can't hear. He can read lips pretty good, but since it's so dark out he can't see your face clearly."

Ralph just smiled and shined his flashlight toward his mouth. Speaking slowly and being careful to enunciate and look directly at the other boy, he said, "Hello, Henry. I'm Ralph. What would you like to see?"

And in that instant, they were all friends. Henry started signing enthusiastically at his sister. And the three of them began to look for the binary stars in the big dipper.

Paige's throat felt tight, her heart full. If not for the man beside her, this little scene she was witnessing might never have happened. She turned her head and found him smiling down at her. His hand slid from her elbow only to grasp her fingers and squeeze lightly. Paige returned the pressure and wanting to express how very grateful she was to him, she brushed her lips softly against his cheek. But she let them linger there because she found him more attractive in that moment than ever before and she just couldn't seem to help herself.

Walter froze at first, then he slowly turned his head toward her and let his mouth just touch hers. Breathless, she melted into him and…Tim walked up.

"What the hell, Paige!"

 **AN: Just another chapter or two oughta do it. Please read and review.**

 **P.S. Season 3 promo! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! - excited squeal! Only 3 weeks and 5 days to go!**


	6. Chapter 6

**CHAPTER 6**

 **AN: This one's for you WriterFreak001. It's a little different spin than what you asked for, but I hope you like it anyway. ;-) And to pamz and WeBuiltThePyramids, sorry this one doesn't have any of Ralph's pet names for Tim, all the name calling went in a different direction this time...**

Walter and Paige startled and instantly sprang apart like guilty children. They both stared at Tim's shadowy face in the dimness. Gone was the aw-shucks-nice-guy-boy-next-door demeanor, his perfect veneer was cracking. Eyes narrowed, feet splayed, arms crossed; his every inch suddenly resembled a soldier interrogating the enemy on a deadly mission.

"First you're all over each other at the bonfire. Now this? Something you forgot to tell me, _honey_?" Tim ground out, his soft, sarcastic tone somehow louder than if he was shouting.

Paige's mouth opened and closed soundlessly a few times. Lack of sleep was making her sluggish and she was still muddled from her encounter with Walter. "I, uh…," she stuttered uselessly.

"Listen," Walter's chin went up in defiance as he stepped between Paige and the other man. "Don't blame this on her. It wasn't her fault. This was all me."

Tim's lip curled in disbelief, "She wasn't exactly screaming and slapping at you, so unless you roofied her? I'd say there's enough blame to go around."

"I'm right here and I can answer for myself," Paige said firmly, starting to sound annoyed as she stepped out from behind Walter. "I'm sorry, Tim. This was not intentional."

"Oh, so this, whatever it was, was an accident?" He laughed humorlessly, his normally charming dimples almost an affront to his attitude and acting as grim punctuation to his lack of levity. "You know what I find amusing? I don't fault Walter a bit. I mean, look at you."

He gestured almost crudely up and down with his hand, causing Walter's nostrils to flair and his fists to clench. He took a step toward Tim and opened his mouth to retort, but Paige pushed him back again and shook her head in an effort to keep things civil between them while Tim continued to talk. "You're the total package. Who could blame him? What I don't get is what the hell are _you_ thinking?! You picked _this_ guy? This geek? This-this Einstein wannabe?..."

Paige frowned and automatically corrected, "Einstein's IQ was 160. Walter's is 197, but…"

"Whatever," Tim's mouth twisted in disdain, "If you prefer an emotionally constipated weirdo…"

"Wait. Quit it, Tim. Let's try to be rational adults here," she argued, holding up a hand as if she could stop his words.

But he kept up the verbal assault on Walter, "…if you'd rather be with an overblown, arrogant asshole that's incapable of consideration…"

"That's enough…" she said sharply, scowling and pointing a finger in his face.

Paige's growing ire didn't slow him down though. "…a touch-me-not virgin who can't sustain a relationship with a real woman and who probably can't even get it up…"

POW!

Almost of its own volition, Paige's fist connected with Tim's nose. Hard.

"Ouch!" Tim and Paige said simultaneously, while he grabbed his sore nose and she shook and clenched her throbbing hand. Walter grabbed her wrist and was alternately examining her for broken fingers and glaring at the other man as if this was entirely Tim's fault and his nose might attack Paige's fist again.

All of the sudden the whole scene, and in fact the whole bizarre weekend, struck Paige as hilarious and she began to laugh hysterically. The two men looked at her like she'd finally lost her mind which made her laugh even harder, bending over and clutching her aching sides, gasping for air.

For several minutes, she tried and failed to pull herself together enough to talk. Each time one of the men would look at her funny or ask if she was okay and it would set her off again. And when Walter said, "I fail to see the humor," and in his adorably confused way, actually looked at Tim for an explanation, she thought she would die.

Finally, the sight of Tim dabbing with his sleeve at a thin trail of blood trickling from his nose sobered her. He may have deserved it, but she still felt bad for hitting him. "Walter, could you take a walk, please? I need a few minutes alone with Tim, okay?"

Walter glowered at Tim before asking her, "Are you sure?"

Paige rolled her eyes and said, "You think _he_ needs protecting? Because I don't see him retaliating, do you? I'll be fine."

Walter nodded once curtly, pointed toward Ralph and his friends and said, "I'll be right over there."

"Paige, I'm sorry." "Tim, I owe you an apology." They said at the same time.

Then Paige began again, "Please let me say what I need to say." At his nod, she continued, "I feel really bad about all this. I never meant to lead you on or send mixed signals. I did tell you early on that Walter and I had feelings for one another, but we'd decided not to pursue them. When I made the decision to move on with you, I was hurt and angry and tired of being sidelined. That wasn't fair to you, because I didn't take into account just how strongly I felt, well obviously still feel, for Walter. I really do like you. But I guess I'm just not ready. I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt you."

"Well, I'd like to tell you it's all okay, but it doesn't feel okay yet. Fortunately, I think it's mostly my pride you hurt, aside from my nose." They chuckled a little at that. "About my behavior tonight. I kinda lost it. Sorry about that. All I can say is, I was angry. Not an excuse, just a reason."

Paige looked up at Tim fondly, "Well your perfection was getting a little sickening if you want to know the truth. I'm actually glad to see you have some flaws after all. It's nice to know you are as human as the rest of us."

His brow furrowed, but a smile twitched at his lips. "I never claimed to be perfect."

"Well, I'm sure you will be perfect for someone someday."

"Just not you, right Slugger?" Tim's smile turned wistful when Paige just shrugged and nodded.


	7. Chapter 7

**CHAPTER 7**

 **Part of the Waige conversation is at the request of pamz! Enjoy!**

What did a kid have to do? He was only eleven and even he could see they belonged together. Sure they were very different, but they completed each other and made up for each other's deficiencies perfectly. Like two forty-five degree angles fitting together to make a perfect right angle. Or like absolute complements in Ralph's set theory of the optimal family in his universe. What more did they need? How could two smart people be so dumb?

Ralph lay beside Walter in the tent, both of them pretending to sleep and not fooling each other for even half a second. The boy deduced his mother and the interfering ignoramus had a falling out after she fell asleep on Walter's shoulder at the bonfire. Perhaps they'd even split up, but as usual, no one shared details with him because they still tried to shield him from 'unnecessary unpleasantness' and things he 'wouldn't understand'. But he was no longer an infant to be insulated. And if his mom had truly jettisoned that banal, vapid lummox, why wasn't Walter taking advantage and filling the void instead of laying there inert, a preoccupied insomniac? And why was his mom sitting up alone and despondent in Walter's car?

It was illogical to want to tear his hair out in frustration, so he allowed his genius brain to kick into high gear. The solution he contrived wasn't ideal as it had a few too many variables. And if he succeeded, he knew his mother would likely ground him from all technology until he reached adult status as a result, but the greater good must be served.

Taking mental inventory of the items necessary to accomplish his new scheme, finding them present in the tent with him, and hoping Walter would take the bait, he rolled over to his side and whispered, "Hey, are you awake?" knowing full well the answer to the question before he voiced it.

"Um, yeah," Walter answered with a sigh. "What's up, buddy? Everything okay?"

"I think my mom might be sick or something. She was sitting in your car when I came back from the bathroom. And she's still out there. Would you mind checking on her, please? She wouldn't tell me if she felt bad, but she sure didn't look good when I passed the car a while ago." Ralph did his best to sound distressed and added scared puppy eyes to the mix just in case his expression could be seen in the dark.

Walter sat up and gave the boy's shoulder a reassuring squeeze. "Don't worry. I'll go check on her if it will make you feel better. It's likely nothing more than the hot dogs and s'mores from dinner. She isn't accustomed to eating a lot of junk food. I'll be right back and maybe we can both get some sleep, okay?"

"You may want to approach from the driver's side so you don't startle her if she's sleeping. And here. Take this blanket just in case she's cold."

"Good thinking."

The hook was engaged and the subject was tugging the line. It still remained to be determined if the sinker was, in fact, sunk.

XOXOXOXOXO

Walter smiled at Ralph's thoughtfulness and caring, glad the young genius didn't seem to have the same issues with low EQ he'd struggled to overcome.

If only he knew.

He approached the car cautiously, not wishing to startle Paige. He was reluctant to start a conversation after all that had transpired earlier in the evening, inwardly wincing as he recalled the things Tim had said to her about him. Maybe he could keep the encounter brief and just inquire how she was feeling. He would make sure to tell her it was actually her son who was concerned and he was there at Ralph's request.

She was facing away from him and half reclined in the passenger seat with her arms wrapped around herself. Walter was glad Ralph had suggested the blanket, because she appeared to be cold. He felt a frisson of alarm and hoped she wasn't feverish.

As quietly as possible, he opened the driver's door. She turned her head in his direction frowning and squinting in the faint glow of the dome light and she shivered in the draft from the door.

"Paige?" He whispered. "Why are you out here in the car? Are you feeling okay?"

"I'd be better if you shut the door," she answered, her voice quivering from the chill in the night air, "I'm freezing."

"Oh, uh, Ralph sent you a blanket. Here," Walter said, sliding down into the bucket seat, handing it over then shutting the door behind him. Paige immediately pulled the fleecy covering over herself all the way up to her shoulders.

As soon as the car door shut firmly, the pair inside heard the snick of the locks engaging.

"Walter? What was that?" Paige asked as he began pushing buttons and trying the doors, windows and even the sunroof. Nothing was responding.

"It seems we're locked inside."

"Isn't there a manual override of some kind?"

Walter's lips compressed and he clenched his jaw for a few seconds before answering. "I believe my car's systems have been hijacked." He was vacillating between admiration and irritation with the suspected hacker. "I think your son is strongly implying we need to spend some uninterrupted time in each other's company."

"What?! Are you saying Ralph locked us in?"

"It's the most likely conclusion, yes. If the car's manual override was functional, we would be able to unlock the doors even without power, but something is preventing that. He has my keys and my laptop and phone, both of which are synced to the car's onboard system. They are heavily encrypted, but, well…it's Ralph." Admiration won. Walter had to bite his lip to keep from laughing out loud. Instead, he shook his head in appreciation while a smile he couldn't quite mask, teased his lips.

"You can _not_ find this funny! Don't you dare laugh. If it really is him, he's in so much trouble right now!"

"No doubt. But I can't help but marvel at his ingenuity. He simply amazes me."

"Why though? Why would he lock us in here? Why would he think we need time alone?"

The smile dropped from Walter's face. "After, you know, you and, uh, Tim's discussion and before he and I got ready for bed, he urged me to talk to you privately. He was pretty adamant, but I told him it wasn't necessary. Evidently, he overheard some of…the, uh, things Tim said about me. Your son wasn't happy with your-your boyfriend."

"For the record, Tim and I aren't together any more. He was going to leave, but we realized we need his car to haul all our stuff back and it was too dark to pack anything tonight. It felt too weird to bunk with him tonight and he was already asleep before I could get my bedding out of the tent after I'd showered. I didn't feel like dealing with trying to sneak in to get anything and your car was open, so here I am."

"And I'm sure you could tell I was less than pleased with the things he said about you too. I don't know what came over me! I never hit people!" Paige dropped her head into her hands and muttered to herself. "Everything about this campout has been so stupid!"

Elated at the news that Paige and Tim weren't a couple, he couldn't help grinning. "You slapped me once, if I recall," Walter said, his tone playful.

"Maybe you inspire me to violence?" Paige said and they looked at each other and started snickering.

"Seriously, though. Tim didn't mean half of what he said. He was angry and hurt."

Walter sobered instantly. "It wasn't all accurate, but I think his description of me was pretty apt, don't you?" he mumbled, his eyes cast down toward his lap. "I am a geek. That's not in question."

"Smart is the new sexy," Paige interrupted, shrugging.

He looked at her sidelong and continued to reiterate, "I wouldn't express it like he did, but it is true. I am 'emotionally constipated'. I have made some inroads into understanding my feelings and recognizing how others feel, but I'm still often inconsiderate."

"You have made great strides in the two years I've known you. And I have every reason to believe you will continue to improve."

"And he was right. I'm an arrogant asshole too."

Paige's eyes softened and she argued, "At times, I guess. It's hard not to be when aspects of yourself are head and shoulders above other people. But you are so humble in other ways to the point of being under confident. For instance, do you really think you deserved to be evaluated so harshly by him or anyone else? And you don't think Tim was being an arrogant asshole when he said those things about you? Sometimes for you, arrogance is a defense mechanism, what was his excuse?"

"You have a point there," Walter said with a crooked half smile. "And he was wrong about, uh, you know…the other stuff."

"You do have a touch phobia."

"No, phobia implies I am afraid of being touched. I'm not fearful, I'm averse to it. I find it annoying and uncomfortable." He hesitated, then keeping his gaze averted, he said, "Um, I've discovered I'm not like that with everyone though. For example, I was never like that with Megan or Ralph. And I quite like it when-when you, uh..."

"What? Touch you?" She leaned over the console and placed her hand on his knee. Now he was the one shivering. "What about the other thing?"

Walter gulped. "Oh, I haven't had vast amounts of experience. I'm probably light years behind someone like Tim, but I-I'm not a, you know, virgin. I've had a few incidents in the name of scientific research if nothing else. None of them were particularly satisfactory for either party, if I'm being brutally honest, but I have been with a h-handful of women." He was glad for the lack of light because his face was blazing.

"I wasn't asking for your numbers, Walter. I don't care about your track record. I was asking if you were fully functional, because he suggested you weren't. Was he wrong about that?" She joked, her eyes laughing.

Practically squirming, he retorted, "Oh, very funny. I assure you, I'm a capable and fully functioning male."

XOXOXOXOXO

"Never doubted it for a minute," Paige said with a smirk and with that she slid her hand up to his mid thigh.

He drew in a sharp breath through his teeth. She loved teasing him. Walter was just so cute when he was flustered.

He picked up her hand and began fiddling with her fingers. For long minutes he just stared down at their hands. Finally, he asked, "Do you, uh, still have those f-feelings for me? I mean, um, are you still attracted to me?"

"Honestly? Yes."

"Are the feelings you have for me just the result of my closeness with Ralph?"

"Oh, Walter. Is that what you think? It may have gotten things started initially. There is nothing more attractive to a mom than someone taking a sincere interest in her child. And you have helped us both so much. But as I've gotten to know you, there are lots of other reasons I find you attractive now."

"Then why didn't you want to come back with me from Tahoe?" He said in a rush.

"You made it pretty clear earlier in that evening you didn't want to have a relationship with me, so I made a commitment to move forward with Tim. Then you showed up and spouted a bunch of logical reasons why I shouldn't be with him. And you lectured me on what was best for Ralph. I was already hurt and tired of dealing with yet another one of your rejections, and you made me mad. So I told you to get lost."

"Nothing came out the way I wanted it to and I never said what I really wanted to say."

"Well, try it again now. What did you want to say?"

Walter was quiet for so long, she didn't know if he would answer. Sighing, she started to remove her hand from his. But he gripped onto her fingers tighter, took a deep breath and said so faintly she had to lean toward him to hear, "I wanted to tell you I love you."

"Oh," Paige breathed, her eyes flooding and blurring her view of his face. "Do you?"

His eyes locked on hers and he said, "I know I've given you a lot of reasons to doubt it. It took me a long time to understand what I was feeling. But, yes, Paige, I do. I know I do."

 **AN: Probably just one more short chapter after this... Hope you liked it! Review, pretty please!**


	8. Chapter 8

**CHAPTER 8**

What was he supposed to do? The car was nearly pitch dark inside. But even if he could see her features clearly, he still wasn't much good at reading emotions in others. He'd spilled his guts and his usual interpreter was sitting in the adjacent seat, immobile and staring at him, her breaths catching on each exhale and her eyes welling with tears. Walter had never seen a look quite like this one on Paige's face. Was it bad? Was it _good_?

What the hell.

Even if his words upset her somehow, kissing would prevent the immediate need for more talking. So that was the next logical action, right?

Walter leaned over the console, brushed his fingers along the side of her neck and laid claim to her lips. She melded her mouth to his. He took advantage of her little gasp and let his tongue glide into her warm mouth. And for a few minutes he forgot how to think. Paige shifted in her seat and slid her fingers through his hair, her nails drawing circles on the back of his neck until he shuddered and a low, feral noise rumbled in his chest. The whole dynamic of the kiss changed in that instant, as they nipped at each other and their tongues stroked and their lips pressed and parted in a fevered need to get ever closer.

But getting close in a car across a console isn't easy and curtailed any of the more exciting forms of petting Walter really wanted to engage in. Damn bucket seats.

Paige leaned away from him, breaking the kiss. "Wow," she sighed, her eyes still closed.

It was another quiet few seconds before she finally said, her voice a little husky, "You really _love_ me?"

"I thought we established that already," Walter answered frowning.

"I'm sorry. It's just you said love is junk science; a chemical reaction in the brain. I'm having a little trouble reconciling… I didn't think you would ever… What made you change your mind?"

"Not what. Who. That would be you. My whole world has been turned upside-down since I met you and Ralph. In-in a good way."

"Walter," Paige whispered, her eyes filling again, but a little smile wobbled on her mouth.

"I don't understand. I keep making you cry. Is that bad? Is it good? You have to tell me. I'm new to all this. I'm not perfect like Tim. Please don't let me mess this up. I don't know what it means or what you need me to do."

Still teary, Paige laughed a little. "I'm sorry I'm confusing you. I'm not sad. I'm just touched and surprised is all. I never thought I would hear you say those words. It's good, I promise. Because I love you too. Tim may be perfect to everyone else, but you're perfect for me. And Ralph. I couldn't ask for anyone better for us."

Walter's found his own eyes prickling with gathering moisture. "Okay," was the only word he could force out around the sudden tightness of his throat. All at once he was very grateful for the lack of light.

Luckily, Paige took the opportunity to touch her lips softly to his again giving him another focus. She always did know the right thing to do.

When she backed away this time, they were both staring. But she had a soft, almost bashful smile on her face. He answering smile was a little crooked and sheepish.

"Can Ralph hear us, do you think?"

Walter had to swallow hard before he could reply. Somewhere along the way, his brain disengaged from practical notions for a few minutes. "I'm not sure. Is your phone in the car?"

"It's in the tent with Tim. It's dead. My charger was in the bag with my clothes back at home."

"Probably not then. Why?"

"Well, just in case…" Paige leaned into him and her lips brushed his ear, both her sultry tone and her warm breath making his pulse jump as she murmured. "I think we should take this discussion to the backseat and maybe I can show you how to have a mutually satisfying experience. I'd like to test my theory and prove Tim wrong about a few things."

Walter gulped and without a word, nearly folding himself into a pretzel shape, stuffed himself between the front seats in his haste to get to the back seat, making Paige giggle. "I'll take that as a yes," she said as she followed him, dragging the blanket with her.

XOXOXOXOXO

Ralph didn't have a way to listen in without powering up Walter's car and releasing the manual override, so when curiosity got the better of him, he decided to peek out of the tent to see what was happening with the couple in the car. Trying to be as covert as possible, he opened the zipper on the door just a few inches and peered through his binoculars. That's when he saw two silhouettes become one and the windows were just beginning to become misty with the fog of their combined exhalations. Yep. They would be perfectly fine until morning.

Grinning, the boy genius crawled back into his sleeping bag congratulating himself on a successful operation. He just might turn his efforts on Happy and Toby next. And He fell asleep dreaming of a new set of schemes.

 **AN: And there we have it! Just a short and sweet little wrap up. I hope you liked it! Gotta love that Ralphie boy!**


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